#me when i feel things...

[barghest-land]

was too busy and tired this weekend (and i still feel a bit dead) but here are some recent jovier sketches cuz i don't have the energy to do anything else rn ;--;

[monkesupreme]

ref

a satisfactory answer for Selina

[rameiixo]

SUNSETS ON MARS

[hinamie]

blue light overexposure dot png

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

Physically? I am sitting in my bedroom. Mentally? Spiritually? I AM DEAD ON THE FLOOR!!!!! THESE TWO HAVE KILLED ME!!!!

(Another drawing! This was originally attempt #1 at drawing stan, and then fiddleford just showed up. Kinda feels like them five minutes after the above acting like nothing happened though, so it works sdjkgkjfshj)

[aerequets]

cost and benefit

[fisherrprince]

it’s not necessarily that I hate the themes most prevalent in fiction set in the real world and it’s not necessarily that I don’t like stories revolving around real people or relationship drama or interpersonal issues it’s more like im a dog who doesn’t recognize that a pill is still a pill if it has peanut butter on it. I need like the little peanut butter spoonful that is aliens or robots or monsters or time travel or something fantastical and not at all down to earth real life so that you can approach me and be like “this story is about how friendships can deteriorate over time and also how this guy feels bad for being a bad friend and causing his buddy problems with their girlfriend” and then look at me making a face at you and be like “AND! they’re all aliens who are doing all that across spacetime” and I’ll be like OHHHHHH OKAY YAY (shlop shlap shlup the sound of a dog horking down peanut butter pills) wow what a poignant story

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[tending-the-hearth]

going back through mockingjay and what do you MEAN clerk carmine is most likely the fiddler at annie and finnick's wedding, what do you MEAN clerk who was the one to bring lucy gray the katniss just before things fell apart and the one to raise the girl who became haymitch's reason for living what do you MEAN clerk got to see his sister and his niece's dreams come true as the hunger games are destroyed by a girl with lucy gray's fire and lenore dove's heart what do you MEAN clerk saw the arrows his friend made be part of the downfall of the capital what do you MEAN clerk lost his family but saw them live on in haymitch and katniss and peeta

[zeropro]

got anymore Sunstorm headcanons?

In my au, a mech's designation is part of their spark coding, they online with a unique designation. Of course, bots can change their name later, and it happens often. The headcanon is that Sunstorm, being a clone of Starscream, has a near identical spark signature, resulting in a bunch of copied coding. Shockwave is not amused.

[marciaillust]

your design of me

[babykittenteach]

No but fr having an indigenous family broken up for its own good by the state and one of them leave her homeland to go get a Real Education is not just counter to the original story's characterization, it's not just erasing the colonialism commentary for the sake of failed feminism presumably based on the girlboss objection to portraying women as caretakers and the classist objection to blue collar jobs, it is an act of colonialism.

It is in fact so ridiculously an act of colonialism that it should come off as such to anybody able to think about media critically for a few moments, but to anybody familiar with what the US did to many indigenous peoples via the faux benevolence of boarding schools, including to native hawaiians, it's fucking revolting.

Like, shoutout to removing Pleakley's gender exploration, to removing the cop villain in lieu of just having the mad scientist remain one, to removing some of Cobra Bubbles's nuance, to removing commentary on race and colonialism, etc etc, but mainly: this did a colonialism.

[hinamie]

happy gojoday to all who celebrate

[mewo777]

idea ive had floating around in my head for a while

[egophiliac]

Final manifestations for Book 7?

I'm trying REALLY hard not to build up any solid expectations, because I wanna go in ~fresh~! they're already so far away from anything I thought would happen (not in a bad way, I'm just accepting that I'm on Miss Yana's Wild Ride at this point and we're seeing this thing through 'til the end, by gum). so it's nothing too major, but:

they've been handing new crying expressions out like candy lately, I want to see some delicious Malleus tears.

honestly I want everyone to cry buckets. their tears sustain me. the more Silver angst specifically I get the happier I am.

SILVER!!!! 👏 VANROUGE!!!! 👏

just let him have this. the poor boy's been through so much. let him have his big "I'm proud of you, son" moment with Lilia.

I'm 100% expecting Grim's arc (and probably whatever's going on with Crowley) to be its own episode, but a nice hook to leave us hanging on would be good!

a nice hook though, please, I don't think I can take another "Grim is attacking us! now wait eight months to find out what happens :)" cliffhanger...

some Meleanor? as a treat? just a little bit, a tiny quick flashback or something, please Twst I just, I just want to see her again. let her have a little ghost cameo like Dawnathan Knight got. Lilia and his kids are all having their big group hug or whatever and she can gently fade in to be all like

(turning asks off until I'm done playing, SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE Y'ALL)

[dangeroustaintedflawed]